A Superbowl Party (at a Redskin's house)

I'm finding it difficult to think of new activities to do on weekdays. It seems to me that most people just go home after work. Sometimes they may stop on the way home to pick something up, but then crash once they get home. But anyway, on to the blog.

Superbowl Sunday, 7:00pm

I was invited by one of my clients to a party at her and her boyfriend's house. He happens to be a player for the Redskins so I thought this would be a great place to meet guys. I don't care at all about football but I do like party food, drinks and games. The fact that both teams were wearing yellow pants just seemed like a huge fashion faux pas to me, but like I said, I wasn't really watching the game.

Almost immediately a cute boy came over and introduced himself and his sister. He insisted that I try a combo of one deviled egg and two meatballs. It wasn't half bad although who puts horseradish in deviled eggs? Gross. In any case it was brilliant compared to his concoction of a 5-hour energy and a Heineken that he named the "Hi-5". Despite my insistence that it should be a shot of 5-hour energy with the beer chaser, he mixed them.... and then lamented the decision for the rest of the night. I informed him that he was not allowed to invent anything else...ever.

Fergie looked like some sort of Xena/Tron mix with light up boobs. I left the half-time show to play beer pong. Did you know I have never played beer pong? I don't like beer and lived at home during college. Sad, I know. I didn't know liquor pong was an option, but I do now! We played in teams and my teammate, Kaitlyn and I went up against the professional athlete and his friend, who I'm sure had a lot more experience in beer pong than I did. We lost......twice. But we made an excellent showing. Both games came down to the last cup on each side. This was largely due to the fact that Katilyn made a shot and then I made it in the same cup. According to the rules they have to drink more cups that way so I did that in the next game too.

So I snacked and flirted a little bit and I think at one point the boy signed that he loved me. Not sure what that was all about. My response was to blow an air kiss, wink, then head back to the 7 layer dip. The dip was really awesome. I think that football parties are a fantastic place to meet boys and I learned that you do NOT have to like football to enjoy yourself.

Difficulty to initiate contact: 0

Pros

Boys like football and group together to watch it

It's a party so it's ok to just go introduce yourself or have your friend introduce you

There's easy conversation material ie: the game, who's who of guests, how awesome the snacks are

Cons

You may actually have to watch the game at some point

Some guys focus only on the game

Day 8: The Golf Show-or- How to bore a Kim in 10 minutes

My friend's husband posted that he was going to a Golf Expo over the weekend and asked if anyone wanted to go. I said I did. He thought I was joking. It took a while to convince him that I was serious but he finally got it. Then he got hopeful that my going would entice his wife to come, bringing a toddler and a newborn in tow. Haha, no way. I believe her exact words involved preferring to gnaw off one of her appendages. In any case, it was me and her husband.

If I had to do it over again I would not pick a male companion. I would pick a girl that is uglier than me. If she actually liked golfing this would be a major plus. Every booth I walked up to assumed that we were married (because most women will not come of their own volition). This is problematic in the boy shopping department. But let me tell you, a golf expo is a buffet of men. A lot of them are older, but a good number are not. The trick is talking to them. The most common scenario is that you are walking down an aisle and pass a cutie. I do not recommend grabbing their arm as they walk by, although it crossed my mind as the most direct path to communication after an hour of passing them by in frustration. I think that the only viable way to initiate contact is to find a cutie, follow them in a very circuitous way that puts you at the same booth at the same time, then find some nonchalant thing to say to him. My other piece of advice is to remember to be looking at faces, not at the stuff in the booths. As women we are natural shoppers and our instinct is to be focusing on the products for sale, even if you know it's just golf stuff that you don't need. You will find your eye caught by pink golf bags, magnetic bracelets, and a stupid little putting game that is full of choking hazards. Chances are you don't need golf clubs or a bag, the bracelets are an ugly gimmick, and nobody needs that lame ass-game. Keep on walking and keep your eye on the prize!

Difficulty to initiate contact: 9.5

Pros

It is a 98% male crowd

Golfing is not a poor man's sport = he probably has a decent job/ isn't living in his parents basement. It's not a guarantee, but it's a good start.

Cons

Talking to them is difficult

Day 7: Join a singles group

Back in September I spent entirely too much money to join a singles group. Events and Adventures plans out activities and pick the ones you want to go to, and pay the associated costs. Every month they have a "new member ice breaker" where a large portion of the members show up to mingle and socialize. I've only been to one so far and it was packed. There were certainly loads of single guys there. I've talked my friend into going with me. I hope it's better than last time. I spent the whole evening on the phone with my bank, explaining to them that I was not currently in Connecticut, spending over a thousand dollars at Rite Aid and Staples on my check card.

Joining groups like these is a great idea. There are free ones, a lesson I learned too late. However, at least I know that the people coming to this are not complete losers, as they could afford the ridiculous sign-up fee.

This group organizes activities such as hang gliding, caving, going to comedy clubs, karaoke, and many more. I might go caving this weekend but I want to feel out the crowd to see if anyone else is going. After caving about a dozen times I realized that it's just not my favorite thing. I think this has largely to do with the last time I went. They made me wear a wetsuit so thick that I couldn't bend my knees, a harness, and one of those helmets with a light on it. "Hey, even though you can't bend your knees, we're going to climb up this wall! Oh, and by 'wall' I mean waterfall that will be trying to drown you!". If I go, I am signing up for the easy one.

Friday, 7pm

My friend came over after work and we made our way to the bar/ restaurant. They reserved the downstairs bar just for this group. That's nice, at least I don't have to explain the lameness of this to someone who just happened to be there while our event is going on. New members get a red name tag, I have a gold name tag. I'm not sure how to feel about this. Also, it says Nancy Botwin on it. We each have a name from a tv show. We're supposed to find other people with character names from the same show. My character is from Weeds, which it turns out hardly anyone has seen. I order nachos as I start to regret not choosing the nametag Jo from the facts of life. I ended up hanging with the 'Facts of life' characters anyway. As the evening goes on it becomes unbearably loud and I have not seen one guy that I want to talk to. Time to go.

Difficulty to initiate contact: 2

Pros

Everyone there is single

The guys there are presumably looking for a girlfriend

Cons

These singles companies seem to attract more women than men

The activities can be spread over a range that makes a lot of them somewhat far

Day 6: Happy Hour

I picked a nice restaurant near an office park for my happy hour experiment. What I should have done was find out if they actually had a "happy hour". As it turns out, Sweetwater Tavern does not have a happy hour.

People came anyway. There were 6 pairs of women, including myself and my friend. We were not the only ones with this idea. By 5:30 there was a crowd in the bar. Some people in suits, some not. I ordered the southwestern egg rolls. They aren't as good as as the steak and cheese egg rolls with the queso sauce at Blue Ridge Grill, just saying. I wasn't actually in the mood to meet anyone just then, but wanted to scope out the scene and gauge the difficulty involved. It's actually pretty difficult. A lot of people come together in a group from work. I did see a single guy hitting on some women across the bar. I have no clue if he works with them or not.

Although this seems like a more likely place to meet someone, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. In this environment, if you walk up and talk to someone, even if it's casual, your intentions are known straight away. If you are lucky enough to have someone interesting sit beside you, you might be able to be more stealthy about it.

I was sitting at the bar with a woman to either side of me. There were 2 guys sitting behind us but far enough away that making casual conversation would have been difficult. I think that in the right circumstance this environment could be a great resource for meeting someone. Today was just not my day.

Difficulty to initiate contact: 8

Pros

There were guys there

They had time to talk

It's early so it's a different crowd than going to the bar later

Cons

Making contact can be tricky

Day 5: The book store

The hardest part of this blog is that so many of the activities need to be done on weekday evenings. I could go to the book store at 10am, but that would most likely mean that any guy I met would not have a job. Then I end up waiting until 8pm, after people have eaten dinner and are saying "now what?". On this particular evening I am having trouble getting motivated.

Wednesday, 8:15 pm

There's certainly not as many cars here as on the weekends. I'll have
to come back on Saturday or Sunday. The cafe area is actually packed.
There are a few single looking guys but they are all on computers. I'm
not sure I understand the logic here. Presumably they do have internet
elsewhere so why are they here? Some have books piled around them but
most of them don't. I did a few laps around the store. The most
interesting thing I saw was a frazzled woman piling up self-help
books. I HAVE to see what she has. While perusing the section I see a
book called "women who think too much". I start laughing out loud and
have to explain to the frazzled women that without women who think too
much, there would be no self-help section.
By 9:00 half the people have left. Nobody really caught my eye so I'm
getting kind of bored but I figure that I can't just go to a place,
walk around once and expect to have a lot to choose from. So I'm
sticking it out, sitting in the cafe, typing this on my iPad. There is
actually someone I wouldn't mind talking to but he's buried in books
and a laptop. I can't think of anything to say and honestly, he's not
that cute. I did strike up a conversation with a woman who's reading a
book by an author I like. So I suppose the key to striking up a
conversation in a situation like this is sitting pretty close to
whomever you want to talk to. I'm feeling sleepy and tempted to start
playing "Angry Birds" instead of writing this. Time to get going. Hold
the phone, someone just walked in. I totally wimped out of making eye
contact and smiling. He just sat down but his back is to me. Blah, I
lean back in my chair and realize..... my fly is down. Fantastic. Like
I needed another challenge. Back to my plan of leaving. Pull sweater
down over open fly, check. Time to sleep.

My advice: Grab a latte and scope out the cafe. Move through the
magazine section and the music/ movie section as they tend to flock to
those areas. If you see someone you like engrossed in a project, sit
by them until it seems like the right time to say something
nonchalant. Make sure your fly is up lest you look like a moron.

Difficulty to initiate contact: 6


Pros

He may like to read/ be well read
There are a good number of guys there at any given time
You probably want coffee anyway


Cons

He may be deep in a project
You have to hang out for a while if you want to have a good selection
or a chance to make conversation.

Day 4: Another match.com date -or- Sometimes you CAN do the same thing and get a different result

Internet dating is always a crap shoot. You can pick someone with the perfect profile, the perfect pictures, the site says they match you in 25 different ways but you meet them and are completely disappointed. Conversely, you can meet someone with terrible pictures and a so-so profile and like them a lot. Mostly you forget about those "meh" profiles, but maybe you shouldn't.

I was contacted over a month ago and the only thing I saw we had in common was Scrabble. I challenged him to an online game and we've been playing ever since. We occasionally IMed while playing, but it was stuff like "I have four E's! WTF??" I hadn't put much thought into us meeting at this point and because it was over a month since he emailed me, match had deleted it and I was unable to even find his profile. So when he asked me out I really wasn't sure I wanted to go. The last match.com date was a disaster and due to the Scrabble being over facebook and thus linked to my blog, he knew all about it.

In an effort to be different than dinner he suggested drinks and appetizers. How this is different is beyond me, but I agreed to go anyway. I don't think it would have mattered if it was dinner or drinks. Conversation was easy, the wine was tasty, and we laughed a lot. There was no awkwardness and when we were done he paid for it before the bill even came (so hot).

If you decide to try online dating just remember that profiles aren't people and pictures can lie, and often do, both ways. So before you hit the "No Thanks" button make sure you believe that there is 0% chance you would like this person, because if there's a 1% chance, you should just go on a date and see. I still don't recommend dinner or drinks. Think of some activity that gives you a buffer, like bowling or ice skating.

Difficulty to initiate contact: 0

Pros and cons already listed on Day 1.

Day 3- The Dog Park -or- Dog spelled backwards is God

The dog park is an excellent place to meet people. Dogs are a great buffer and give you a topic to talk about. People LOVE talking about their dogs, in fact, sometimes you can't get them to stop. Every time I go to the dog park there is at least one guy there. Guys seems to be pretty good about walking their dogs and taking them out to play. The key to the dog park is timing. You might have to go a bunch of times before you find a guy you actually want to talk to, but the guys are there and are super easy to approach. Try to go at least 3 times a week either after work or on the weekends. Weekday mornings/afternoons are dead, of course. I definitely recommend taking a dog with you. Borrow one if you have to. Please don't be the weirdo with no dog hanging out at a dog park. That is just sad.

Difficulty to initiate contact: 1

Pros

You need to exercise your dog anyway/ your friend's dog needs exercise

Guys do frequent dog parks

They are not busy doing something else

Talking about dogs is comfortable conversation that lets you get to know them without them

necessarily knowing you're interested

You can leave whenever you want (I'm still scarred from the dinner date)

Cons

There are usually only a few people there at a time, catching a guy you might like there is tricky

Mud/ dog poop/ icky weather (it's currently 32 degrees)

Looking cute and staying clean can be tricky depending on weather and dogs jumping on you

Monday (a holiday), 1:00pm

Normally this would be a horrible time to go, but it's MLK day so everyone is off work. My hope is that they will be thinking "I should take my dog to the park after lunch". There were a few cars when I pulled up and about 5 or 6 dogs in the park when I arrived. Unfortunately, every man there seemed to be there with a woman. I actually think this is the first time I've seen that happen. There has always been at least one single guy there during previous visits. I stayed until 3:00 and had to leave due to the fact that I was freezing. I met a lovely group of ladies and had a nice time in any case. Another plus was that in order to fit the dogs in the car I had to take the air filters out.