Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 2- The Hardware Store-or- Where There's A Tortilla Chip There's Bound To Be Salsa

I actually got this idea from a book. The book pointed out that sometimes men go to the hardware store just to go. They peruse around and therefore have time to talk as they might not actually have anywhere to be just then. I do actually have some things that I need to get. I haven't changed my air filters in......... when did I break up with my ex? Changing the air filters is man's work. One of the bonuses to finding a guy at the hardware store is that he may actually be handy. Guys, a woman wants a handy man. It doesn't matter if I can change the air filters myself. I don't want to. I don't want to take out the trash or mow the lawn. I have no clue what I'm supposed to do about pipes in the winter. Or if I'm supposed to do anything at all. My closet doors are broken and the learning curve I'd have to go through to fix them just isn't worth it. I'm sure there is something I'm supposed to do with the ...crap, I can't even remember the name of it..... air heater thingy, for winter. These are just a few of the reasons why having a man around the house would be fantastic. I feel like mid afternoon is a good time to go. I am fighting the urge to bring a friend. I'm going to go get cute and head to Home Depot!

Sunday, 12:50pm

I was disappointed as I pulled into the parking lot. Not a lot of cars. Maybe there's a game. I'll have to check that next time, or not go on a Sunday. I walked all around the store, making my way very slowly to the air filters. Oh! There's a guy! Damn, a wedding ring. I said that about five times. While it may be true there are guys at a hardware store, Sunday afternoon is not a good time to go for the single ones. However, I did learn a thing or two about shopping for a guy in the hardware store.


Pros

Boys like power tools, so are bound to go there at some point
They are usually alone and thus easier to approach
It's easy to think of some valid question to ask them
Guys shopping there are more likely to own their own home
You probably needed to buy stuff there anyway but never felt like going


Cons

Homeowners are usually married
Approaching them can be nerve wracking

Difficulty to initiate contact- 6

If you do happen to find a guy that isn't visibly taken, here's my advice. Grab 2 of the same item, one expensive, one inexpensive. I got air filters because I needed them. But air filters are great because you can get the same size for either $1.99 or $19.99. With a 90% difference in price it is totally valid to ask someone why. So either park your cart and looked really confused next to a hot guy or lean over and say "is there really THAT much of a difference?". He's either going to launch into an explanation of the differing variables that make one better than the other, or tell you he doesn't know. In either case you need to make sure that all your body language is screaming that you're interested because boys are dumb. He may actually believe that you care about air filters (pssshhhh, as if that were possible) and leave it at that. Men don't trawl hardware stores for women so they aren't in flirt mode.

Today didn't work out but I'll try again sometime soon. I need a new rake anyway.







3 comments:

  1. I heard that guys go to the grocery store to find girls.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Home Depot in Ashburn is always dead slow. Pick another Home Depot :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rake(2) noun . a fashionable or wealthy man of dissolute or promiscuous habits.

    You need a new what now?

    ReplyDelete